There's Something Hairy Next to Me!

Have you ever tried to go to sleep only to realize there is a Beareded Woodsman laying in your bed? He' a harry beast and his stache kinda reminds me of a walrus.

Picture this:

Walrus

And to emphasize "harry beast" envision this thing below in your bed.

I did mention I live in Florida... and it's summer, right?

Woolly Mammoth

I would have been upset except he has this habit of making me laugh and rubbing me to sleep. What kind of girl would I be if I turned down being soothed into a comma while he chants OM's in his baritone voice which is the most relaxing thing ever. It's like having a personal spiritual guru and medicine doctor all in one right next to you. I've never heard of a Bearded Woodsman monk either however, I can only imagine all the greatest spiritual people who took sabbaticals in the woods probably didn't shave. And they ended up being - this guy.

The Bearded Woodsman

I could go into this big long story of how he ended up in my bed but why would I take anyone through the trauma (or the crazy fun) of me being an a*shole and wanting free coffee.

That's what happens when you date a barista from your local coffee shop. Which if you've ever known me not only makes sense but is incredibly fitting for my life. These days The Bearded Woodsman seems to be my ideal man. And by ideal man I mean he keeps me caffeinated.

True-Story!
Sometimes things just work to your advantage...

I'm looking forward to sharing with you all the crazy adventures of a Cali boy turned Bearded Woodsman stuck deep in the trenches of this girl's tangled web of a playboy style life filled with crazy love, friendships that make no sense, and dating disasters.

I keep him around although most days I'm unsure why. I will admit he is very useful though. Like when I'm cold in a restaurant or movie theater (which I usually am) I can wrap his arm around me or snuggle in his beard and it's like having grandma's hand-knitted sweater all cozy and comfy to keep me warm. So many uses this hairy beast has. Perhaps he can keep me warm in the winter ... if it  gets that far!


- I*V

In the beginning there was man....

In the beginning there was man....and wife
             ....and then they got divorced!

I'd love to say this is an original story however, having an ex-husband is hardly a new story. In fact, 1 out of 3 women experience what I've been through and the type of man I divorced. Which means the story should be an instant replay of some grandma sitting around in her undies in a her nudist colony nursing home who's been through everything there is to go through when it comes to relationships that suck.

Despite the odds, even though women and men are cheated on, have their hearts broken, get divorced or otherwise find themselves in predicaments that are harder to get out of than it was to get into, it's how we deal with our pain, our frustration, and our turmoil that makes the difference in who we are and who we ultimately become. Who our children become comes down to if we got our children out of hell sooner than later when it comes to ending relationships with authoritarian spouses who control everything from bank accounts to which groceries can go in the shopping cart. Furthermore, what matters most is if we got ourselves okay enough along the way to be able to help our children heal their broken hearts too.

When it comes to the story of my life and this utopian dream of forever, the idea was crushed by blow after blow between infidelity, financial woes, ego trips, parenting issues, and the same ol song and dance of a man and his need to control.

Interestingly enough, over the years I've found men are just as prone to

Losing Faith & Being a Mistress

I always believed in God when I was married to a sinister man.
                  So what's the deal with God & I these days?

I met a married man.
                          .....Again.
It's an ongoing theme in the story of my life.  :)


      His fantasies are like-minded and interlaced with intimacy.  Married men are a fantasy that's good for the soul...especially for a girl who pretends she want something real but who truly just wants the highlights of any relationship.

      Innocent fun.. until it's no longer innocent.
That's why it's only via emails and not at all based in reality. The problem that comes into play is that this girl does desire romance and true friendships that can help her in her journey to success... But again I ask, where is the line between friendship and romantic interest?
Where is the line between flirting and moving in to territory you know doesn't belong to you because you also know it might be nice just for a few nights...

Am I a good girl trying to be bad?  Or am I a vixen in every sense of the word? It's true I try to be good and then something turns in me and I take men down for the kill. Do I do this just because I enjoy it?  What happened to my moral consciousness?  Do I even have morality when it comes to relationships anymore?

.."all's fair in love and war"...

Losing Faith & Respecting A Married Man

A follow-up to the post 'Losing Faith & Being a Mistress':

I don't want to be the younger version of who ever's wife.

I always wondered about Blue and why he turned me down after turning me on. Is he the only faithful married man left on the planet? I can only admire him for that. Which makes me want to love him even more.

[For your information Blue is someone I met years ago by cosmic coincidence. He was married at the time and I had just left my marriage. I totally fell in love with him. I looked up to him. He gave me hope in a time I had none and I spent years trying to talk myself out of being in love with him. That being said, he was married. Then got divorced. Then found someone new. Someone who...

A Kitchen Wedding

So, it's time. Finally!  That pivotal moment in life when you get what you've been waiting for all along: A fairy-tale happy-ending.

It's finally happening!  And I know you're hating me right now but, don't. Because now that I have everything I want at my fingertips (including approval and the finances for all the decor and colors and custom designs) for my dream come true wedding... now I can't decide on a damn thing!  It's probably the biggest and most important decision a woman could ever make in her life and you would think after years of dreaming about it a girl would have everything she wants already picked out.  But, in the story of my life, it's just not that simple. This commitment of forever thing is sending me into 'panic-mode' and the bludgeoning question of: "did I make the right decision?"  "Yes, you! I choose you!" I say with certainty but suddenly, I'm getting cold feet.  I had this same problem when I got married.  Sigh...

Oh.. oh no!.. You thought I was getting married?... lol!  No, not at all.  I'm marrying my very first custom-designed kitchen!  Horray! Yes, I get to piece together everything I've ever wanted and rebuild this very important cornerstone of my house.  A kitchen is the most important part of making a house a home and I've been dreaming of this moment since the beginning of my marriage  - which ended three years ago.  CHEESE!

See, we say forever when it comes to men, however,