There's Something Hairy Next to Me!

Have you ever tried to go to sleep only to realize there is a Beareded Woodsman laying in your bed? He' a harry beast and his stache kinda reminds me of a walrus.

Picture this:

Walrus

And to emphasize "harry beast" envision this thing below in your bed.

I did mention I live in Florida... and it's summer, right?

Woolly Mammoth

I would have been upset except he has this habit of making me laugh and rubbing me to sleep. What kind of girl would I be if I turned down being soothed into a comma while he chants OM's in his baritone voice which is the most relaxing thing ever. It's like having a personal spiritual guru and medicine doctor all in one right next to you. I've never heard of a Bearded Woodsman monk either however, I can only imagine all the greatest spiritual people who took sabbaticals in the woods probably didn't shave. And they ended up being - this guy.

The Bearded Woodsman

I could go into this big long story of how he ended up in my bed but why would I take anyone through the trauma (or the crazy fun) of me being an a*shole and wanting free coffee.

That's what happens when you date a barista from your local coffee shop. Which if you've ever known me not only makes sense but is incredibly fitting for my life. These days The Bearded Woodsman seems to be my ideal man. And by ideal man I mean he keeps me caffeinated.

True-Story!
Sometimes things just work to your advantage...

I'm looking forward to sharing with you all the crazy adventures of a Cali boy turned Bearded Woodsman stuck deep in the trenches of this girl's tangled web of a playboy style life filled with crazy love, friendships that make no sense, and dating disasters.

I keep him around although most days I'm unsure why. I will admit he is very useful though. Like when I'm cold in a restaurant or movie theater (which I usually am) I can wrap his arm around me or snuggle in his beard and it's like having grandma's hand-knitted sweater all cozy and comfy to keep me warm. So many uses this hairy beast has. Perhaps he can keep me warm in the winter ... if it  gets that far!


- I*V