Like really? I confess.. I'm a 4-year-old in disguise.

It's weird. The Bearded Woodsman can soooooo withstand without doing the deed for an inordinate amount of time. I mean, he does use this f*ed up predicament to his advantage.


So like, if I haven't finished a project or met some milestone he tells me I can't have it... (i.e. him)... Yes, apparently I'm 4 and had to go back to the basics with pleasure, work, and reward. If I do my work, I get my reward. Finally something that is motivating to me. That only took ..umm... a decade! But really, even when I am ready and do my work and finally get the gratifying fix of knowing he can't tell me 'no' there's literally no appropriate time to shag.

There's the morning rush, the workday schedules, the friends in and out of the house, the mom/dad I'm hungry, not to mention a lack of privacy all together of having kids running around. Like when was the last time your 10 year-old-knocked on a door? There's really only one place that makes sense ... the bathroom.... which only makes sense in adult-world because their mirrors and water to run and no messy clean up ... but yea, the bathroom is out of the question because mine is not only reDICKulously small but, also it would just be weird when the kids ask why him and I are in the bathroom. I mean, it's not like we're not married ...or like kids even remember what it was like when we were married ... to .. eh hem... different people. This is all new to me.